Are you unhappy in your relationship? Do you find yourself making excuses for your partner even though you genuinely feel like something is not right?
It is time to reconsider the relationship.... yes yes yes I know nobody is perfect and two people from two different backgrounds coming together will definitely have differences. We all have faults but some things you just cannot compromise on. If you cannot deal with it now you most likely will never be able to deal with it.
Myself, and I am sure many other people have found ourselves in situations where we make excuses for our partners like " he hit me because I made him upset"..... or " she misses my calls because she is always sleeping" or some other ridiculous reasons we find ourselves making up... let me tell you something, we do have intuitions and when you deeply feel like something is not right more than likely it is not. I am not talking about insecurities where you use your past relationships to judge the person whom you are currently with.
I read a nice analogy that caught my attention...." dogs eat things that they should not ingest, and it makes them sick, then they mope around, roll around and act all sad and crazy because they are sick and finally they are able to vomit it all out. However, after a little while of feeling better they forget about what made them sick and go back to their own vomit to ingest the same thing that got them sick in the first place" and of course you know what will happen all over again.... hmmmm I know... I know... long analogy but here is my point......
This is the same way we have issues in our relationships that we know is not right for us or belittles us and we still decide to overlook , forget about it for the moment and keep making excuses, but truth be told it will remain the same especially if the other party is not trying to do their part, therefore we keep getting back in the same situation. This then becomes a continuous cycle of ups and downs, sadness and seemingly happiness. Why put yourself through all of this headache and heartache when you know that you truly deserve to be happy in the right relationship...
Keep in mind that the longer you are with Mr/Mrs wrong the longer you are putting a barrier on the door to letting Mr/Mrs Right in. As long as you remain entangled in the bad/wrong relationship, the longer it will take for you to get in the right one. The sooner you disentangle yourself from that relationship the sooner you can meet the right person and be genuinely happy in your relationship.
So what do you do in the meantime after liberating yourself from bondage and living the single life?
Just work on yourself to be a better person, love God, love yourself and enjoy life with great expectations. Be strong people! Until next time...
I agree with all you say vicky tas! Many-a-times, people tend to stay in relationships for the wrong reasons ("i love him/her so much", "i can't imagine my life without him/her", "other than this situation he/she is such a great person to be with", "he/she is my soul-mate", or thinking that person is the best you can do or that you can't do any better. One has to set thresholds of what they think is acceptable or unacceptable in his/her r/ship with another individual (for example, if you consider getting abused- mentally, psychologically or physically- "unacceptable", you should not let it slide the first time by trying to make an excuse for your partner. Of course, I'm not saying one should file for a divorce the first time they get abused, but especially if you're not married to the person and they're already abusing/disrespecting you, there's a very tiny to NO chance that the abuser will change over time, so why put yourself through that turmoil? God does not want his children to suffer).
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, no relationship is without compromise, therefore, you may have to have a discussion with yourself or your partner about things you can REALISTICALLY compromise on (especially if it is a serious relationship that even has a little chance of getting to the alter). Also, if one has a conversation with his/her partner about unacceptable behavior, make sure to follow through because people will continue to do things they CAN get away with- over and over again- (for example, if your partner cheats on you-mostly referring to boyfriend/girlfriend situations- and you take them back without thinking too much about it, they're very likely going to repeat the same actions multiple times because they know you will take them right back)- i've seen these situations way too often (on TV mostly... LOL).
Honesty is a good and the very best policy in a relationship, be open with your partner, talk often about things that matter, respect each other like you would like to be respected. Relationships are all about genuinely GIVING (the receiving will come naturally, don't expect it). "giving" comes in many forms- emotional, physical, material, compliments, encouragement, and the list goes on. A healthy relationship, optimally, should not have a selfish party because the counterpart will eventually be drained, which will be detrimental to any relationship.
Most of all, couples should keep God as the center of their life and relationship/marriage- things will be so much easier and better in the relationship and life in general!
....And don't forget to...Keep Ya head up, Smile and Stay positive :)!
ReplyDeletewow! very well said.... you are so right and it's definitely not just on TV that those situations happen.lol! it's what happens in reality all the time. I really hope this piece helps people start to view relationships in a different light and find true happiness and joy in their relationships. Thanks again for your wise words.
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